“Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude .” - Michelle Obama

Having a Crisis of Confidence?:

Things are going well, you are flying high and it feels like this is how it's going to be now, you've cracked the code, your confidence is finally keeping up with your ambitions and nothing is going to get in the way of your spark again...until it does of course...but why does this happen and is there anything we can do about it?

How to turn up the brightness again and get back on track with your confidence!👊

1. Identify the source

Our confidence can take a hit from many angles, be it professional, personal or a combination of both. Maybe it's a difficult client who has you questioning your skills, a partner who is not supportive of your future plans and hints that you probably won't be able to make them work, or perhaps you are just drained from the constant juggling act and it feels like your energy levels are so depleted it's hard to get momentum on anything.

2. Understand what it looks like

How do you know if this is a confidence thing or something else? A knock to your confidence can manifest in different ways, but here are some things you will probably notice:

• Sense of self doubt - You start to question whether you are good enough/clever enough/up to date enough/capable despite having evidence from the past that you have been doing fine up till now (probably even been pretty successful at it).

• Procrastination - lack of confidence doesn't always lead to procrastination but it can certainly lead to holding back in some way. Procrastination is often a sense of overwhelm and not knowing where to start, or feeling the task is too hard or too large to begin it. You might even worry that you won't be able to do it well, so we wait until a time when it feels more manageable, often that time never arrives and we end up doing it last minute under a lot of stress.

• Fear of failure - Fear of making mistakes or failing can increase hugely when confidence is low. This fear can be paralysing, preventing you from taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone. This sets up a negative feedback loop where the lack of progress and courage to make a change reinforces the idea that you are not good enough and so are more likely to fail.

• Negative self-talk - Your inner critic is not your friend when confidence is low, it becomes louder and dominates more of your thinking in a negative, unhelpful way. It suggests to you that focusing on your flaws will help you find a way to change for the better but actually all it is doing is damaging your self worth and lowering your confidence further.

• Decreased performance - Ever find yourself struggling to make a decision or missing deadlines or even focusing on the stuff you have to get done? That could be your confidence having a crisis.

3. Practice self compassion

I think it was Emma Thompson (the actress) who said something about if you are juggling lots of balls in the air, at some point, if you are human, you are going to drop some now and again. It's important to remember that you are human and that it's normal to have moments of doubt and uncertainty. Give yourself some grace, you are doing the best you can.

Self compassion might be anything from an early night to something much bigger like a career change. The more you say yes to yourself and your needs, the more you will trust yourself to be reliable and compassionate, your confidence can grow knowing that you have your own back.

4. Bust the confidence myth

The confidence myth is that you need to wait until you have the confidence for something before you should or could go and do it. Actually its the other way around! You get confidence by doing the thing you are worried about, fearful of or think that you can't do.

Start small and think of something you would like to be more confident at, then take a move towards that. If you would love to be able to sing on stage but the thought terrifies you, the confidence for that is not going to suddenly arrive - you need to reassure your mind by actually doing it! So take a singing lesson, sing a bit louder in the shower, wind your car window down next time you are singing whilst driving and just get one step closer by taking action.

5. Find your uplift team

Positivity breeds confidence. Surround yourself with uplifting people who believe in you, inspire you and most importantly, remind you of your strengths. Sometimes all we need is a reminder of our capabilities to reignite our spark.

6. Invest in self care

You've heard it before, but I'll say it again: you can't pour from an empty cup. Make time for activities that nurture your soul and bring you joy. We are really focused on ensuring our minds are healthy and our bodies are healthy, but when was the last time you checked in on your soul and make sure it was nourished? Whether it's a quiet evening with a book, a session at the gym, a spa day or a great laugh with some close friends, prioritising self-care is essential for boosting your confidence.

7. Remember your past victories

It's far too easy when your spark is struggling to become a flame and your mind is telling you that you suck at life, to feel like nothing ever works and that you are no good. Your mind (trickster that it is) can even make it harder for you to remember your successes at these times, so it's good to not rely on your mind and have hard evidence instead.

Get a file on your computer, or a scrapbook and fill it with evidence of how you are actually pretty great after all....nice emails people have sent, great feedback, lovely text messages, a brilliant piece of work you are proud of, the flower your child drew just for you, the card you got from your partner on your last birthday that reminds you of how loved you are....whatever you like.

Regaining your confidence won't happen overnight, but that's ok, you only need to be moving in its general direction to be able to notice a difference. Be patient with yourself and believe in your potential. Join Wuum® for the support to reignite your spark and maintain your confidence!